Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (2024)

We’ve all met someone in our lives that loves being close to others. They’re extra cuddly, in your physical space, and they give a warm hug that feels better than your first cup of coffee for the day.

Chances are they’re fluent in speaking the Physical Touch Love Language, even in their platonic relationships. BUT… while it may be easy to see the love languages of others when it’s as obvious as this, not everyone who has a primary language of physical touch is quite this conspicuous.

If your love language or your spouse’s love language is physical touch, then it’s likely you love to be physically close to your partner, and a shoulder squeeze or deep hug says “I love you” more clearly than a bunch of flowers being delivered to you.

The physical touch love language is often brushed over as being all about physical and sexual intimacy, but it’s much more nuanced (and interesting) than that.

Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (1)

What Are The 5 Love Languages?

Do you like getting compliments? What about gifts? Or maybe you just appreciate some quality time with your partner.

Everyone expresses and receives love differently, and it’s important to know your own love language in order to have a happy and fulfilling relationship.

There are 5 different love languages, and they are Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time.

Dr. Gary Chapman details these in his book The Five Love Languages, where he explains that we all express love in different ways.

The concept of love languages, and how it helps in relationships, is quite simple: understanding your own primary love language, and understanding your partner’s love language can help us to be more perceptive of how we show love and experience love in a romantic relationship.

This alone is a great way to create deeper connections with your spouse and ensure each other’s needs are being met.

While you may think you already know your love language, it’s worth taking a closer look at each one to be sure.

After all, relationships are complicated and ever-changing, so your love language might change over time as well.

Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (2)

Here’s a quick rundown of each love language:

Acts of Service: This is the language of service. If you speak this language, you appreciate it when your partner does things for you – making the bed, doing the dishes, taking the dog for a walk.

It’s not about big gestures, but rather the small things that show you’re being thought of and cared for.

Read more about the Acts of Service Love Language.

Words of Affirmation: This is the language of words. If you speak this language, compliments mean everything to you.

You appreciate hearing kind words from your partner – whether it’s “I love you,” “you’re beautiful,” or simply “thank you for dinner.”

A few well-chosen words can brighten your day and make you feel loved and appreciated.

Read more about the Words of Affirmation Love Language.

Receiving Gifts: This is the language of giving and receiving gifts. If you speak this language, gifts are an expression of love for you – whether it’s a gift on a special occasion or a surprise “just because” present.

Even something as small as a card or flowers can make you feel loved and appreciated.

It’s less about the material object itself, and more about the thought and mindfulness that goes into it.

Read more about the Receiving Gifts Love Language.

Physical Touch: This is the language of touch. If you speak this language, physical contact is important to you – whether it’s holding hands, hugging, or even just sitting close together on the couch.

Physical touch is a way of showing affection and conveying emotions like love, care, and happiness.

Quality Time: This is the language of quality time. If you speak this language, spending time together is what matters most – whether it’s going on dates, taking walks together, or simply sitting in silence side by side.

Quality time is about being present with each other and sharing undivided attention.

Read more about the Quality Time Love Language.

If you’re not sure which is your Love Language, you can take a quick quiz to find out:5 Love Languages Quiz

Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (3)

What Is The ‘Physical Touch’ Love Language?

The physical touch love language is all about the physical expressions of love. Think hand holding, random kisses, sexual intimacy, frequent hugs… and other various forms of physical connection that speak to this love language.

If this is your love language, you feel most loved when your partner is physically present with you and physically affectionate.

This doesn’t necessarily mean physical intimacy or frequent sex, (although it could); it just means that you feel a strong emotional connection when you’re physically close to your partner.

For example, you might feel loved when your partner holds your hand, gives you a hug, or sits close to you on the couch.

Physical touch is all about creating that sense of closeness and intimacy. It’s about feeling connected to your partner on a physical level.

Whether it’s cuddling, holding hands, or just sitting close together, physical contact is essential for creating a strong emotional bond.

Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (4)

Why You Need To Know Your Love Language

Knowing (and understanding) your love language can be like switching on a light in your relationship.

If you think about them as literal languages, it can help to understand how difficult it can be to communicate if you and your partner both speak different languages.

Your partner may be showing you love by washing and fueling your car for you (Acts of Service), but if you don’t speak the Acts of Service love language, it may just seem to you like your partner is more interested in cars than you.

This would be especially true if your love language is Quality Time, as it may seem like your partner is actively spending time away from you.

This can lead to so many frustrations and misunderstandings because you’re speaking love in French and your partner is speaking love in Spanish and neither of you understands each other’s language – it just ends up being a jumbled and confusing mess.

This is where love languages can help. By understanding each other’s love language, you can learn to speak the same language and finally understand what your partner is trying to say.

It can be a total game-changer in your relationship, and it can help you to feel loved, appreciated, and understood like never before.

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65 Ideas And Examples Of Physical Touch As A Love Language

If you’re not used to expressing love physically, it can be hard to know how to show physical affection.

Here are some physical touch examples and ideas to help you understand and speak this love language:

1 – Take the opportunity to hold hands when you are walking together out in public.

2 – Put your arm around each other as you walk.

3 – Sneak up behind your partner and wrap your arms around them as they cook dinner or are doing a simple task (interruptions for physical touch are often welcomed).

4 – Make time for kisses first thing in the morning.

5 – Be sure to give each other a hug and kiss anytime you say goodbye.

6 – Hold a hug a little longer and a little tighter than usual.

7 – Hold hands while sitting across from each other at dinner.

8 – Put on some of your favorite music and dance together.

9 – Hold their face while you kiss them.

10 – Put your hand on their leg while driving.

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11 – Touch feet under the table when out in public.

12 – Run your fingers through their hair.

13 – Snuggle up and watch a movie together.

14 – Give them a massage.

15 – Be sure to touch them while sitting on the lounge together, even if you’re just touching feet or have your hand on their leg.

16 – When you’re both in bed, spend some time just cuddling before falling asleep.

17 – Initiate physical touch often, even if it’s just a light touch on the arm or shoulder.

18 – Have tickle fights (bonus points if you can turn it into kisses after).

19 – Be affectionate in front of other people, even if it’s just a quick peck on the cheek.

20 – Give them a hug as soon as they walk in the door (even if you’ve only been apart for a couple of hours).

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21 – When you’re both getting ready for bed, take the time to give each other a goodnight kiss.

22 – Spend some time just cuddling on the couch (no TV, no talking, just cuddling).

23 – Hold each other while naked for skin-to-skin contact (this causes a release of certain hormones including oxytocin, the love and bonding hormone).

24 – Take a bath together.

25 – When you’re both sitting on the couch, put your arm around them or have them leaning on you.

26 – Take a walk together while holding hands, and enjoy the physical closeness.

27 – Give them a foot rub, and rub their legs.

28 – When you’re both in bed, spoon each other (this is great for feeling close and connected).

29 – Rest your head in their lap while talking or watching a movie.

30 – Take classes that allow for touch – like dancing classes, a massage class, or even a class on body painting.

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31 – Enjoy long make-out sessions.

32 – Sit on their lap while they’re working or relaxing.

33 – Kiss them each time you walk past them.

34 – Have fun by setting a timer to go off every hour and have a long kiss whenever the timer goes off.

35 – Put your hands on their shoulders and kiss their neck.

36 – Fall asleep holding hands.

37 – Set your alarm a few minutes early so you can take some time to snuggle in the morning.

38 – Put your hand on their arm as you talk to them.

39 – Public Displays of Affection. Hold hands, cuddle, kiss in public (making sure you’re both comfortable with this of course).

40 – Be sure to touch them in little ways anytime you can – for example, as you hand the keys to them, lightly run your fingertips along their palm.

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41 – Find fun games to play together that involve touch, like Twister or other fun couples games.

42 – Write out different parts of the body on small pieces of paper and put them in one jar, then write out a range of different actions (like kiss, cuddle, tickle) and put them in a different jar. Draw a piece of paper from each jar and do what it says.

43 – Take a shower together and wash their hair and/or wash their body.

44 – Give them a ‘love tap’ when they walk past you (a swat on the butt).

45 – Offer to brush their hair for them.

46 – Give them a head massage.

47 – Wake them up with back rubs and kisses.

48 – Take turns being the big spoon and the little spoon (sometimes a switch is good!).

49 – Sit on his lap whenever you see the opportunity (probably not in the middle of a work zoom call though…).

50 – Play with their fingers as you hold their hand, squeezing and massaging them, seeing how they interlock with yours.

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51 – Hugs, hugs, and more hugs. Bear hugs, koala hugs (climb on his back), wrap your arms and legs around him. Hugs.

52 – Put your legs over his when you’re sitting together.

53 – Be intentional about touch – stop what you’re doing to hold them, grab their hand when out in public, look into their eyes as you hold their face.

54 – Pick them up and carry them around (make sure they’re okay with this first of course!).

55 – Get some massage oils and give each other full body massages.

56 – When you see them across the room, sweep them up into your arms for a big twirly hug.

57 – Walk behind them and wrap your arms around their waist as you walk.

58 – While you’re both cooking dinner, sneak up behind them and wrap your arms around their waist. Bonus points if you take over cooking while standing behind and make a game of it.

59 – Dance around the house together to fun music (or even just in the kitchen while cooking).

60 – Hide little love notes around the house for them to find that are ‘vouchers’ for them to cash in for extra hugs and kisses.

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61 – When you’re both sitting down reading or watching tv, curl up next to them and rest your head on their shoulder or chest.

62 – Take a nap together (bonus points if you can actually manage to sleep!).

63 – Do something outside your comfort zone that involves touch – like going to a nude beach, or skinny dipping.

64 – Try couples yoga or another activity that requires close body contact.

65 – Ask them what forms of physical touch they like the most and then be sure to do that every day (or as often as you can).

Tips If Your Love Language Is Physical Touch

If your Primary Love Language is Physical Touch, you may feel appreciated when your partner is close by or initiates physical contact.

For those who have a partner who doesn’t have physical touch as a primary or secondary love language, it can be difficult to convey what you need and why you need physical touch, while explaining you’re not actually clingy or over the top – this is just what you need to fill your love cup.

Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (12)

These are some tips you can use to ensure your love language of physical touch is understood:

1 – Talk about your love language with your partner and explain why physical touch is so important to you.

2 – Try to be patient with your partner as they try to learn and understand your love language. It may not come naturally to them, but they’ll likely be more than willing to try if they know it means so much to you.

3 – Suggest ways in which they can show you physical affection that are comfortable for both of you. This could be anything from cuddling while watching TV, to holding hands when out walking, to giving each other massages.

4 – If your partner is struggling to understand or meet your needs, explain it in different ways or give them examples of what would make you feel loved.

Let them know exactly what your preferred way of being shown love is, and give them time to see how you react to being shown love.

5 – Don’t be afraid to be affectionate yourself! Showing physical affection can be a two-way street and sometimes you may need to take the lead.

As with everything in relationships, communication is key. Being clear about what it is you need, and not expecting your partner to read your mind, is the best way to ensure your needs are met.

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How To Speak The Physical Touch Love Language

Learning to speak your partner’s love language can be a challenge, but it’s definitely worth it. After all, understanding and being understood is key to any happy and healthy relationship.

Here are some tips for speaking the physical touch love language and meeting your partner’s needs:

1 – Make time for physical affection, even when you’re busy. A quick hug or a peck on the cheek can go a long way.

2 – Be creative with your physical affection. There’s more to it than just sex! Try things like cuddling, massages, or just holding hands.

3 – Be physical when you’re talking. If you’re having a serious conversation, try sitting close to your partner or even holding their hand. This will help them feel connected to you.

4 – Don’t be afraid to show your affection in public. A little PDA can go a long way in speaking the physical touch love language.

5 – Be aware of your partner’s personal space. You don’t want to be too overwhelming, so make sure you’re respecting their boundaries.

This can be a difficult love language to understand if it’s not one of yours, but being open to what your partner needs, and willing to learn, will help you to understand a whole lot faster.

Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (14)

Final Thoughts

Learning your own and your partner’s love language is an important part of any relationship.

It can help you to understand yourself better, understand your partner better, and to show them how much you care in a way that they’ll truly appreciate.

If physical touch is your love language, then hopefully these examples and tips can help you to convey your needs to your partner.

And if physical touch is your partner’s love language, then these tips will definitely help you to speak their language and to show them just how much you love them.

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Understanding The Physical Touch Love Language: 65+ Examples, Ideas, and Tips To Fill Your Love Tank - Project Hot Mess (2024)


What is an example of physical touch love language? ›

Physical touch is one of the five love languages, and it refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, and sex are all ways of showing love through the physical touch love language.

How do you fill up your love tank? ›

A couple's Love Tank is filled by the frequency of emotional connections and is drained by the ways a couple disconnects. In your daily life, there are events that fill up your Love Tank. These include emotional and physical affection, your partner asking about your day, helping out with laundry, and weekly dates.

How to practice self love if your love language is physical touch? ›

Physical touch is all about physical affection, such as skin care, hugging, and exercise. This love language is all about doing things that make your body feel good and focusing on your physical well-being. Long showers are a great way to physically express your love for yourself.

How to cater to someone whose love language is physical touch? ›

For Significant Other
  1. Give them a backscratch or a massage—before they ask for one.
  2. Put your arm around them or hold their hand while you're out in public.
  3. Give them a hug or a kiss, just because.
  4. Schedule cuddling or snuggling time as a date.
  5. Take them out for a night of dancing.
Jan 10, 2020

How do I show physical affection to my husband? ›

Rub his shoulders when he's stressed. Scratch his back. Leave him a note where he'd not expect to find one—maybe even make it a scavenger hunt. Buy him a simple gift that says you know him and are thinking of him—his favorite gum, coffee, or candy bar.

How do you show physical affection to a guy? ›

Physical touch: Physical affection—such as cuddling, holding hands, massages, kissing, and hugging—are all great ways to show your partner that you love them and can help your form a closer bond. Acts of kindness: Often, it's the little things that count. Find opportunities to show your partner kindness.

What happens when your love tank is empty? ›

An empty love tank leads to all sorts of coping mechanisms.

Every compulsion is simply a way to feel or think about something other than the emptiness that comes with rejection and abandonment. It might be food, drugs, sex, shopping, depression, working, zoning out watching Netflix, but the result is always the same.

How do I refill my emotional tank? ›

Seven ways to refill your emotional tank
  1. #1. Create predictability by developing processes and procedures. ...
  2. #2. Tell a trusted friend or advisor you're emotional tank's running low. ...
  3. #3. Leverage rituals. ...
  4. #4. Get some rest.
  5. #5. Do the dirty deeds you've been putting off. ...
  6. #6. Watch your diet. ...
  7. #7.
May 30, 2011

What to avoid when love language is physical touch? ›

Avoid making the physical connection feel brash or thoughtless. For instance, it may be super isolating for your physical touch love language person if you don't acknowledge them with tenderness; a rushed hug or non-caring embrace is just as bad as no embrace.

What not to do with physical touch as love language? ›

Not making an effort to cuddle, give hugs or hold their hand. Not being the one to initiate the physical touch. These are all things to avoid when your spouse's love language is physical touch. Instead, go out of your way to share meaningful touch often.

What to do when physical touch is not your love language? ›

If that's the case for you, praying through this is likely a good idea, because it could be hindering your ability to form great relationships. Most people, even if they're not particularly “touchy”, can learn to touch if they put their mind to it. If you find that you can't, then the issue may go a little bit deeper.

What kind of affection do guys like? ›

In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. This is how to make a man feel good.

How can you tell if someone is touch starved? ›

Below are seven signs which may indicate that you're suffering from skin hunger.
  1. Aggressive behaviour. ...
  2. Body image issues. ...
  3. High stress levels. ...
  4. Loneliness. ...
  5. Mental health issues such as depression. ...
  6. Sexual dysfunction. ...
  7. Fear of attachment and unsatisfying relationships.

What is an example of physical contact? ›

Several forms of romantic touch have been noted including holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, as well as caressing and massaging. Physical affection is highly correlated with overall relationship and partner satisfaction.

Is physical touch clingy? ›

Clinginess can manifest in a variety of ways, but it might include constantly asking for reassurance, needing to maintain contact all the time or leaning on you heavily to maintain their emotional wellbeing. Sometimes, it can literally mean clinging to a person — constantly requiring physical touch and affection.

What physical touch do guys like? ›

Here are 10 nonsexual touch moves that can drive your man wild!
  • Hug Him From Behind. ...
  • Lightly Massage The Back Of His Neck With Your Fingertips. ...
  • Resting Your Head On His Chest. ...
  • Run Your Fingers Through His Hair. ...
  • Scratch His Back. ...
  • The High Five Hand Hold. ...
  • Rub His Ears. ...
  • Touch His Jawline.
Jun 15, 2021

What happens when you lack of physical touch in a relationship? ›

Studies have shown that a lack of physical intimacy can give rise to feelings of neglect, loneliness, and emotional disconnection. The effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship can lead to a breakdown in communication and create an emotional distance between partners.

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